What is your Purpose in Life?

And what if you don't have one?

After reading one of my earlier posts, a dear friend called me. In a conversation that spanned for more than an hour, I sensed his incredulous disapproval after I unabashedly admitted to not having a life purpose. My sheepish response to his searching questions was a “I don’t know”. He finally gave up and asked how do I direct my life if I do not have a purpose?

No prizes for guessing how I responded - it was a defiant yet resolute IDK!

He was concerned because he had known me in my earlier avatar. I was ambitious and driven, pursuing a corporate career and being a tiger mom with ferocious intensity. Much like my family and friends were, when I showed no inclination to return to work after quitting a career of 25 years.

What are you planning to do for the rest of your life?

Everywhere I went, parties I attended, I was greeted with “Hi!!! How are you? So what are you doing now?”

Nothing could not be an answer. Everyone has to do Something.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something”

Winston Churchill

It can’t be just anything, but Something worthwhile. To meet socially acceptable norms. a life purpose has to meet certain defined criteria:

What was my raison d’etre?

Inevitably, I too pondered and deliberated on this all-important question. What is the Purpose of my Life ? Why am I living?

Till I realized that I live because I breathe!!!

Recognizing the fundamental truth that there is very little that I do to control the very basis of my existence simplified my life. It released me from the pressure of justifying my continued presence on this planet, and designing a grand purpose for my life.

But my mind was not satisfied, conditioned as it was to “doing and achieving”.

“Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.”

W Clement Stone  

Growing up, I wanted to study Maths, Astronomy, Philosophy, Economics, Music, Languages and Literature. My purpose was to acquire a successful life.

I achieved academic excellence - and became a Chartered Accountant. I was well on my way to acquiring a glittering life.

Over time, my purpose and what it looked like kept changing. And I often wondered what it would have been if I had pursued what I loved and not been dictated by compulsion.

And that’s why now, I am wary of an imagined goal that my mind makes up, dresses up as “purpose” , and offers to me as a crutch to lean on.

If I create this fancy “defined life purpose” after considerable Thought and Consideration (t&c). I would then have to honor the t&c invested and every action would have to be counterposed with some more t&c on if that said action suits “my purpose”.

Meaning that my choices would have to adapt to what suits “my purpose”, that is voluntarily enchaining my life to an imagined concept designed to reassure me that my life, indeed, does have some meaning.

Freeing myself from the burden of ascribing meaning to my existence allows me the luxury to respond to life fully without weighing each action and opportunity vis-à-vis my purpose.

A purposeless life does not mean a wasted one

Another dear friend of mine called yesterday and (again) asked What I was Doing. He knew I was immersed in building the #NotAlone platform, a community that supports women who have been impacted by COVID .“This is not the Reema I know. I thought that was something a bored housewife would do”. Ouch!

What he meant was that he did not understand my motivation as it did not fit into any of the criteria listed above. But that doesn’t make my work purposeless.

I touched 100 families and helped make their lives better!!! Probably one of the most effective and impactful periods of my life!

Not having a purpose in life does not stop me from Living with Purpose!!