We are prisoners of our minds

We don't need to be

Our culture obsesses with minds. We learn to apply, control and relax our minds. Schools train intellects; neuro-scientists and doctors study brains; numerous apps help focus thoughts and emotions. We do what our minds say.

Yet we still hurt those who love us the most, talented but tormented youngsters choose to not live anymore and Twitter posts are enough to incite riots in most parts of the world.

Imagine the mind as a clear lake, where the clear water is as bright as the sunshine that it reflects. Now observe the undercurrents of resentment, regret and rage that ripple through.  And, from time to time, can you see the residue of saved impressions from forgotten memories washing up on the shores of our consciousness? We, intelligent and unaware keepers of our souls, steer our boats through this entanglement, the best that we can. Till, a strong wave surfaces and rocks the boat, drowning us in the deluge of our thoughts and emotions.

We experience a distorted mind with the wisdom hidden by layers of beliefs, wounds and prejudices. Beliefs are borne out of generations of acquired knowledge and opinions. We have consciously nursed or unconsciously nurtured wounds and grudges from our experiences. And we have layered all this with our likes and dislikes. We limit what we like to what we consider ours. I, me, myself extends to my family, my friends, my thoughts, my opinions, my judgement.

I cannot hear what anyone else is saying

We don’t see things as they are, we see what we experience in our minds. And our view gets colored by our beliefs, wounds and prejudices. For proof, look no further than the news channels, giving us content based on what their target audience wants to consume. Prime time shows are debates where everybody wants to be heard, with no one to listen. Within this cacophony of dissonance and chaos, there is a void within. As Paul Simon wrote, we live in the world of

“ Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening”

My limited mind protects me from dangers, seen and unseen

At its most basic level, our mind operates in its primary survival state. It protects us from dangers, real or imagined, inside or out. Ever wondered why you can’t remember what happened that horrible night? It’s because the mind is protecting you from the intensity of the memory and has tucked it deep somewhere outside the line of your conscious sight.  The memory exists and seamlessly gets absorbed into your psyche and becomes a part of our unconscious operating system.

We are fueled by fear to move forward. You are always restless, constantly worrying. The “what if” refrain keeps playing in the background as countless scenarios play against each other.

Society follows this refrain and rewards based on how skilled you are at playing risk. Higher the risk, higher the reward.

We understand risk and we worry when we don’t see any, because, we know dangers are there, lurking around, waiting to catch us unawares. We don’t trust anybody, much less the unseen, unperceived and unknown Divine Force, that has created us, and everything else that we can perceive.

Society reveres fear and those who thrive under fear

We like being driven by fear, it makes us feel secure. The good people fear the wrath of God and the young have the fear of missing out. Adults use fear to train children. Grown-up children, unsurprisingly, get conditioned to respond to fear. External prompts get internalized and the voice of our parent gets replaced by our very own insistent internal voice. Fear takes over our workplace culture and seeps into relationships.

Relationships become transactional. All of them

What we think is love is to fulfil some need, some selfish interest. We delude ourselves with the concept of selfless love and then get disappointed when our expectations are not met. We measure the give and take and know that we always give more than we take. We expect, we hurt, we resent.

We are scared to admit we don’t know…                                

Rational minds say we must trust only what we perceive through our five senses. What we see, hear, touch, smell and taste are real, everything else is in the realm of imagination. We mistake the unknown for unreal. And even if it does exist, it does not matter to me. Which is quite silly. We cannot control our birth, breath or death. We don’t even know how the body functions. Or our mind. Fear replaces our absence of knowledge.

And that keeps our mind constantly churning. What next, it keeps asking.

…..and are afraid to be happy

We end up suffering our minds. Happiness does not come naturally, because we dare not be. We don’t want to be happy, because happiness will lull us into comfortable complacency, hold us back from achieving and is anyway always temporary. Instead, we seek happy experiences, transient in nature, because that is what is allowed to us or so we believe.

And then we finally ask What is the purpose of all this?

'Who am I without Wembley Stadium saying, 'you're awesome'?" I'm trying in my life right now to not attach too much to being a pop star. I'm trying not to get my self worth from external validation." Chris Martin

People don personas. We play multiple roles and assume different personalities. Over time, we start liking a few and identify ourselves with them. My preferred identity was a successful woman perfectly balancing an ambitious career with domestic bliss as wife, mother and daughter. I aggressively chased targets at work, left office parties early to have dinner with her daughter, I brought work home and stayed up late nights to finish my daughter’s school projects.

The problem was not with what I did, but that I identified myself with my activities. After I quit my job and my daughter left home, I lost my identity – and myself. That started my journey, to figure out the how-what-why of my life as it had been and where it could be.

We are selfish; we are meant to be

Whatever we do is for ourselves. If we were to truly understand that, then, before putting out that incendiary tweet, we would think again. The virus has shown us that we are all connected. I cannot remain healthy if my neighbor is unwell. Making others angry will not reduce my rage.

It’s true we craft our own destiny. Angels do not fly down to write this story, yet it’s the unseen Divine Energy that flows through everybody. The same earth, wind, air, ether and fire that is outside is within. On the sea of Consciousness, energy manifests itself in whatever we see and perceive. The same physical laws that rule the outer world apply within.

Happiness is ours, that is the only state to be. Without inner peace, there is nothing that you can achieve. This is the time to start looking within.

Allow the light to enter and shine over your darkest depths. Allow yourself to heal and regain the joy of living.